Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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