he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just want nice things and good sex
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Randomize
