I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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