What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
