Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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