we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
operation have a gay friend backfired
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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