i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
