Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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