I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I love you.
Bad choice
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
