So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
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It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
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If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS