i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.