people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.