trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I think your dad took our porno
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.