I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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