and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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