Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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