she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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