Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
