I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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