if you like me you must not know who I am
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
