There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize