You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
