you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
