when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
