is your mom at the bar?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
