are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize