Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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