I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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