i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
