so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize