You can't special order awesome
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?