im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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