Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
