I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
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i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
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we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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