we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
