Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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