my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
