So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
