I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize