I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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