that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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