You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
