i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
