im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
