He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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