We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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