if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
