if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
