we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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