He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
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