At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
