I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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