I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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