Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
