I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
