lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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