ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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