I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
