We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
