are you so shy because you have an std?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
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it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
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Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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