the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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